[trabohatre]

I just read the "help, binge post"

Chrissy, this is EXACTLY what I'm going buy luxury watches through with my dh's ex! Our stories are exact! I even just recently posted all the same questions you did , such as why do people do this to themselves? And over the safety and welfare of their kids? BM has been drinking hard since about 15-16 yrs old and just turned 39. Plus addicted to Ativan and various other pharmecueticals. It has got to the point where everyone has washed their hands to her such as you do with an addict who won't try help, in hopes to make them see the light after they lose everyone and everything. She is literally a broken woman now.

She lived many years in a black out state. Those years you can not get back. Those years will be etched in her daughters memories but conveniently erased from hers.

The things those girls have wittnessed......

The times they went hungry....

The times they knew they should not get in that car with mom yet somehow had a childs blind trust and got in anyway, with her behind the wheel. And only to get up for school alone, make lunch to take with what little there was and see the car parked half on the lawn for all the neighbors to see too.

The strange men coming and going, with her promising he's a nice guy, only to be a drinker too and then beat her up with the kids in the house.

The only hour I ever knew her to sound sober ( although after awhile they always maintain a blood-alcohol level) Was between 5pm and 6pm. Thats when she awoke and phoned us to talk to the girls ( this was after they moved in with us) But she would cry and start to slur within about 10 min. Everyother hour that we ever spoke to her she was drunk and never remembered those conversations anyway.

Brenda: You've made so much sense to me. I'm glad I found this forum. I've been asking alot and by reading what you've already posted here, I'm learning. For instance, in my blind own ego I never considered alcoholism a disease. ( please hear me out) I always felt cancer was a disease, or mental illness, diseases one has no control over, no choice.....that alcoholism was a choice one made and kept making......until you said that any bit of sobriety is just remission! BINGO!! That hit me! Now that makes sense to me, I understand it when you put it like that now.

Wow, what alot to think about . BM has a tough struggle ahead of her to keep her disease from taking hold again after it goes into remission.....(apparently she is trying AA and speaking to a therapist as well.)

I used to despise her, now I do pity her for the work she has ahead of her, the biggest job she'll ever have to face really. It will take courage.

I grew up with  alcoholism around me. All these years and all it took was one little post HERE for some things to finally make some sense.  THANK YOU for being so candid.

[trabohatre]

I just read the "help, binge post"

Chrissy, this is EXACTLY what I'm going buy luxury watches through with my dh's ex! Our stories are exact! I even just recently posted all the same questions you did , such as why do people do this to themselves? And over the safety and welfare of their kids? BM has been drinking hard since about 15-16 yrs old and just turned 39. Plus addicted to Ativan and various other pharmecueticals. It has got to the point where everyone has washed their hands to her such as you do with an addict who won't try help, in hopes to make them see the light after they lose everyone and everything. She is literally a broken woman now.

She lived many years in a black out state. Those years you can not get back. Those years will be etched in her daughters memories but conveniently erased from hers.

The things those girls have wittnessed......

The times they went hungry....

The times they knew they should not get in that car with mom yet somehow had a childs blind trust and got in anyway, with her behind the wheel. And only to get up for school alone, make lunch to take with what little there was and see the car parked half on the lawn for all the neighbors to see too.

The strange men coming and going, with her promising he's a nice guy, only to be a drinker too and then beat her up with the kids in the house.

The only hour I ever knew her to sound sober ( although after awhile they always maintain a blood-alcohol level) Was between 5pm and 6pm. Thats when she awoke and phoned us to talk to the girls ( this was after they moved in with us) But she would cry and start to slur within about 10 min. Everyother hour that we ever spoke to her she was drunk and never remembered those conversations anyway.

Brenda: You've made so much sense to me. I'm glad I found this forum. I've been asking alot and by reading what you've already posted here, I'm learning. For instance, in my blind own ego I never considered alcoholism a disease. ( please hear me out) I always felt cancer was a disease, or mental illness, diseases one has no control over, no choice.....that alcoholism was a choice one made and kept making......until you said that any bit of sobriety is just remission! BINGO!! That hit me! Now that makes sense to me, I understand it when you put it like that now.

Wow, what alot to think about . BM has a tough struggle ahead of her to keep her disease from taking hold again after it goes into remission.....(apparently she is trying AA and speaking to a therapist as well.)

I used to despise her, now I do pity her for the work she has ahead of her, the biggest job she'll ever have to face really. It will take courage.

I grew up with  alcoholism around me. All these years and all it took was one little post HERE for some things to finally make some sense.  THANK YOU for being so candid.

[islandchild2002]

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." You may have heard what Brenda said about alcoholism being a disease before - but this time you really HEARD it! It doesn't excuse bad behavior - it just explains it. When I realized I was an alcoholic I finally had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault I had the disease. HOWEVER, I do know now that it is my responsibility to DO something about fixing the problem - going to AA and staying clean and sober one day at a time. I loved your post - this is why we are here - this is why this forum exists - in the hopes that someone will be helped! God bless, Leslie

[swt16mentally]

Thank YOU for hearing the truth....and another truth to hear is that, until and unless, the alcoholic/drug addict wants to get clean and sober, there is nothing anyone can do. Material help, housing, food will all be useless. There is no reason to stop when someone else is taking our responsibility for our lives. I am so glad you can have the pity instead of hate, but please do not take that to mean "taking care of" the alcoholic. Until I had to take my own responsibility for myself, I was not willing to step up to recovery (remission). Keep spreading what you have learned because it is important information for the person having to deal with the alcoholic/drug addict in their life. Maybe it can be a stepping stone to sobriety for someone...just one...anyone...that truly wants help AND is willing to do something about it. Keep posting too....we need you here...