My husband's parents are divorced. His mother re-married when DH was in college. She married a man who had a 5 year old son from his first marriage (Rod), so absolutely no blood is shared between DH and Rod. They have never lived under the same roof. DH was 22 when he met 5 year old Rod, and he's always been nice to him,, but he was an adult and really didn't have much to do with him. He was glad his mother was happy in her new marriage.
Fast forward 20 years to present day. DH is now 42, and at age 25, Rod now has a wife and two kids of his own. We occasionally run into them at larger family events. And Rod's wife more or less cornered me and lit into me that DH and I need to be a bigger part of their children's lives! Apparently, in their world, Rod always refers to DH as "his step-brother.' And that's kind of cute, I suppose, and not incorrect-- DH's mom did marry Rod's father, so yes, they could be seen as 'step-brothers,' but that doesn't change the fact that we barely know Rod from any stranger on the street! They weren't raised together. DH never spent time bonding with Rod. He has no reason to. Rod has not shown himself to be the best person. So this sudden attack that somehow DH was being 'mean' to his 'step-brother' and that we ought to be 'making an effort' to know their children was just so bizarre. Honestly, I think this is more about Rod and his wife wanting to have another set of adults that they can look to to get gifts for their kids, or babysit, or help them out with loans.
So for 20 years, DH and Rod have never had a relationship, but now that Rod has kids, DH is supposed to magically get mushy and suddenly become involved?? And we're monsters for not feeling any interest in spending any time with their kids?
