[GirlFromSpringfield]

I'm not sure but I think my personal life is being affected by my debts.  I've been giving people an attitude today or recently I've noticed it a few times and the only factor I can think of that would make this happen is that I've been feeling stressed out just thinking about the fact that I'm in debt, I've been thinking more about it over the past week or 2.  I just don't like having it hanging over my head, I'm afraid something will happen like what if I get fired from my job (unlikely but I just keep thinking like what if something happens) and I keep thinking about that and how the debt is hanging over my head, etc.

And I snapped at my dad and friends today....they were not even being rude or anything at all, I just did it you know?  I couldn't control it and the thing is I am never openly hostile and today I was openly rude.  The closest I normally get to being rude is where it's borderline - to the point where people could interpret it both ways, like maybe as joking.  Like "you should be quiet, I'm studying....hahaha just kidding!"  But today I actually spoke in a nasty tone of voice AND my words were actually clearly rude.  I feel so guilty because I apologized to them all and they were so nice about it rather than snapping back at me.

I feel like I need to manage my anger and not let the fact that I'm stressed out to have debts hanging over me influence my otherwise peaceful personality.  So I guess I'm just writing about this to kind of see if anyone else can relate or if you have any suggestions because I scared myself, not being able to control my anger.

[GirlFromSpringfield]

I'm not sure but I think my personal life is being affected by my debts.  I've been giving people an attitude today or recently I've noticed it a few times and the only factor I can think of that would make this happen is that I've been feeling stressed out just thinking about the fact that I'm in debt, I've been thinking more about it over the past week or 2.  I just don't like having it hanging over my head, I'm afraid something will happen like what if I get fired from my job (unlikely but I just keep thinking like what if something happens) and I keep thinking about that and how the debt is hanging over my head, etc.

And I snapped at my dad and friends today....they were not even being rude or anything at all, I just did it you know?  I couldn't control it and the thing is I am never openly hostile and today I was openly rude.  The closest I normally get to being rude is where it's borderline - to the point where people could interpret it both ways, like maybe as joking.  Like "you should be quiet, I'm studying....hahaha just kidding!"  But today I actually spoke in a nasty tone of voice AND my words were actually clearly rude.  I feel so guilty because I apologized to them all and they were so nice about it rather than snapping back at me.

I feel like I need to manage my anger and not let the fact that I'm stressed out to have debts hanging over me influence my otherwise peaceful personality.  So I guess I'm just writing about this to kind of see if anyone else can relate or if you have any suggestions because I scared myself, not being able to control my anger.

[young_momof5]

I can't remember but are you fairly new into this debt reduction journey?
Acknowledging debt, that you have a problem, and having to change your entire way of thinking & living, can all be stressors on your mental state. Financial issues are difficult for many people to deal with emotionally (for so many deep seeded reasons) -- money issues are the cause of many marriage arguments and even breakdowns.
The key is, you are aware of it, you realize what you are doing, and you apologized for it. If you are normally a happy peaceful person, and this was a one-time thing, I wouldn't worry about it too much. IF you find many of your thoughts or emotions start to be negative, then you need to examine the cause of it.
And keep in mind, anger is a secondary emotion. What is causing it? Fear? Guilt? Sadness?

[gal_audrey]

Young Mom said it all so well. 

Yes, being it debt is rough on the personality.  It changes mine, that's for sure.  I know you are not alone in this.  I have recognized this in my father while growing up.  Also some co-workers in my past.  So, yes, it's not your imagination.

The great news here is that you are willing to look at yourself.  You are willing to apologize when it is warranted.  It's never too late to say "I'm sorry".  But I would not beat myself up about it.  The nicer you are to yourself, the nicer you will be to those around you.

Glad you are here, so you can vent anytime you need to, in a safe environment. 

Sometimes we need to reward ourselves while on this debt repayment journey, so we don't explode from all the pressure.  We pay off a little, then we catch a little fun that won't totally hurt our progress.  Is there something wonderful you've been wanting?  Perhaps getting it would brighten you mood.  Self care is really important. 

HTH and (((HUGS)))

[small_change]

Hi GfromS and <<<HUGS>>>>

Debt does affect our personal lives ... for me, it affects my friendships because I can't keep up with their ability to eat out, etc.  And it's no fun being in debt.  And it's not an easy process to get our of debt.

I think all of us on the board have gone through phases when we were completely obsessed with our spreadsheets, reading books, etc.  And when you are first beginning your debt-free journey, it can feel very overwhelming.

I have to say, I think the reason why your Dad and your friends were so understanding is because you are basically a nice person.  Snapping at someone once (or even twice) is so minor, it's not really about anger management.  It's about being human.  You're allowed to lose your emotions every now and again.  Everyone else on the planet does this -- which is why you were so reaadily forgiven.  I think at this point, you need to forgive yourself. 

[ma2connor]

I have been there.  The stress of debt can really be difficult to deal with.  I found that the  biggest thing that helped with the stress was to get onboard with a game plan to pay down the debt and move forward.

I chose to follow Dave Ramsey and his baby steps for getting out of debt.  Seemed simple at the time but those baby steps (taking things one step at at ime, one debt at a time, really took the pressure off).  The steps and how to do it all can be found in his book Total Money Makeover.  It takes time but if you follow the steps in order and focus just on the step you are on, it is very freeing because you are doing something.  You are following a plan that has proven to work time and time again.  It's empowering.

Today we are debt free besides our mortgage. We have three months of living expenses in an emergency fund, sinking fund accounts (car repair, medical/dental copayments, car insurance, vet, car registration, clothing fund etc...).  to cover annual bills and expenses and have 15% of our income going into retirement accounts.

We regularly give to our church,help support our local rescue mission and sponsor a child in Kenya. Currently we are saving up to help our son pay for college in the fall.  We can't pay it all, but we will do what we can to lessen his burden.   

I was you seven years ago.  I know that seems like a long time to dig out of debt, but this also included the time needed to save up a fully funded emergency fund, adjusting our budget for sinking funds and 401K and Roth contributions. Plus the purchase of my "new to me" car last spring with cash.

You can do this.  You just need a game plan.

stacy