[iv_kassie]

I can very much relate with your feelings.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by what I am trying to accomplish (paying off $55K of debt) and at times get upset with myself for having put myself in the mess that I am digging myself out of.  But the key thought here is that you ARE digging yourself out, one payment at a time and you'll win the race.

Don't be overly concerned about your the episode with your dad and friends.  Just breathe a bit and give yourself a pat on the back for your efforts and as others have said you are NOT your debt. 

In a sense paying off the debt motivates me because I am so looking forward to the day and feeling of no longer having to send my hard earned dollars towards debt; I even dream about how things can and will be once there is no more debt!  So try channeling those thoughts of stress about having debt into thoughts of what will happen when you won't have debt anymore.

[mcpitman]

I'm doing Dave Ramsey too. It's a great program and once you join, it's a lifetime membership.

One thing I did was search to see if I had any missing money. I found more than $2,500 from my father who died incompetent and indigent in 2001. When he was getting Alzheimer's he didn't tell anyone he had Metlife stock. This allowed me to completely pay off one of my credit cards.

Here's what you need to know to search:

1. Never ever pay for an online search. There are a lot of sites that sound alike. The two I am going to give you are free to search and free to claim--except Texas charges 1.5% for claims above $100.

2. The two sites to check are www.missingmoney.com or www.unclaimed.org. Not all states participate on missingmoney.com. In addition, of the states that do participate on missingmoney, the very new and the very old listings are not there. Since all claims must be filed in the state in which they are held, it's best to just search in the states you lived in.

3. There is no time limit on claiming except for Indiana that holds the money for 25 years. After that time, the money goes to the state and you lose the opportunity to claim it.

4. If you are contacted by a "finder" that wants a fee to reunite you with your money, know that states limit what finders can charge. In addition, some states require that finders e registered with the state. Know what the law says to protect yourself. There is no shortage of ads on the Internet touting how easy it is to make money by doing this.

The first thing you should do if you are contacted by a finder is take their information and tell them you'll get back to them. Then check out the sites I mentioned above--remember: these are free to search and free to claim. 

If that doesn't work, Google them and see if their web sites provide any information that may give you a clue as to where to search.

If you're still stuck, know that you can usually negotiate their fee downward. Knowing what your state law says can give you power.

This can be a great way to find extra money to help pay down your debt just like ti was for me. Best of luck to you and happy treasure hunting!

[cosfriend]

{{{{{{Spfld girl}}}}}}

Hang in there. And thanks to everyone for the wonderful posts--esp stacy and marie--I really needed to hear that too.

[falcon0825]

I think when people feel like their life circumstances are out of order or out of control, they get stressed. When they get stressed, they become more easily irritated. This will probably sound a little lame, because I am sure you have heard it before, but do whatever you have to do to start whittling that debt down, and you may feel more in control. Whatever it takes, debt consolidation, switching to lower interest rates or bargaining for lower interest, cutting back in other areas to be able to make more than minimum payments.  The other things I would suggest is be good to yourself. Meditate for 20 minutes twice a day. If you don't have time for twenty, make it fifteen or twenty once a day. Eat plently of fruits and veggies, drink lots of water and get enough sleep and enough exercise. I think all of these things help a person to maintain balance and to make rational decisions concerning finance or any other aspect of their life. You also have to have down time . (Play time). Good movies don't have to be expensive, walks in the park don't normally cost anything. A good book can sometimes take you away for a while. One other thing: Write your plan down in black and white, listing your short term and long term goals. Just keeping it in your head sometimes doesn't work.When you have it written down, you can refer back to it, to pat yourself on the back for the progress you have made. Above all else, keep your chin up. Anytime you maintain positive thoughts, things get better.