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I'm very sorry you feel that way and have nobody to talk to. It is important to have good support and sometimes just a place to vent (by the way this board is great for that, since we are all in the same boat
) you really should not feel guilty, you've done the best in the given circumstances. Sometimes even when everything is done right and "by the rules" in the beginning BFing might not work. In my case, even though I did have an emergency C-section, my son didn't actually get any kind of bottles till 3 weeks pp, he was put to my breast right after I was stitched up, he stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital, he wasn't taken away for any length of time at all. And still I am EPing now. Looking back at it sure I can find things that should've been done differently, and I can tell that even though the hospital was pro-breastfeeding the staff was not all that knowledgeable. They were helpful and kind, but didn't actually know how to deal with our problem. So really, you have nothing to blame yourself for, it is especially hard to take control of a situation when you are a first time mom and don't really know what to expect. You do the best you can for your LO right now, so, I know it is easier said then done, just try not to stress out. It is normal to have a grieving process over lost BFing relationship (mine actually was super long-over 4 months). But you will get over it eventually and start appreciating what you have. As I always say it doesn't have to be all or nothing, any amount of BM is great for your baby! Good luck with everything!
) you really should not feel guilty, you've done the best in the given circumstances. Sometimes even when everything is done right and "by the rules" in the beginning BFing might not work. In my case, even though I did have an emergency C-section, my son didn't actually get any kind of bottles till 3 weeks pp, he was put to my breast right after I was stitched up, he stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital, he wasn't taken away for any length of time at all. And still I am EPing now. Looking back at it sure I can find things that should've been done differently, and I can tell that even though the hospital was pro-breastfeeding the staff was not all that knowledgeable. They were helpful and kind, but didn't actually know how to deal with our problem. So really, you have nothing to blame yourself for, it is especially hard to take control of a situation when you are a first time mom and don't really know what to expect. You do the best you can for your LO right now, so, I know it is easier said then done, just try not to stress out. It is normal to have a grieving process over lost BFing relationship (mine actually was super long-over 4 months). But you will get over it eventually and start appreciating what you have. As I always say it doesn't have to be all or nothing, any amount of BM is great for your baby! Good luck with everything!
