[JMSarah]

I'm nearly 19, I have a 2 and a half year old son, I live with my boyfriend/son's father. We both work full time and I think we do really well with supporting ourselves! We've worked very hard to get where we are today, and we still work hard. It's a constant struggle and what happens is childcare is too expensive. We can't pay hundreds every week to have someone watch him so my family is burdened with this. Instead of trying to see it as a good thing like yay you get some with your grandchild, I get to hear how irresponsible I am and how I've messed up our family and added so much stress and such a burden.

I admit I'm not perfect. After my son was born I did act irresponsibly more than I like to admit. I did dump him on family a lot in that first year especially. I just didn't know what I was doing and I was in denial. I got some counseling and outside help and it really helped me a lot. I've taken responsibility for my life and for my son. I rush to my grandma's after work to pick my son up, I rarely ever ask any family to watch him when I'm not working even when I very badly would love some peace and time alone or with my boyfriend. I don't ask for that except on special occasions any more. I leave him with them as little as possible. I can't help that we have to work to live. 

I don't expect praise for changing and growing and trying to do right, but it would be nice for my family to not still act as if I've made the biggest mistake of my life here. I LOVE my son and I will NOT ever ever EVER think of him as a regret or mistake. He is a blessing and I find myself crying just to think of how wonderful he is and how that sour look on my mom's face is every single freaking time I see her! She's disappointed in me STILL. Why can't she just accept this? Yes, I was stupid and I should have been more responsible and had a child later in life, but it happened, and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing now. I work so hard and am overwhelmed much of the time and I don't understand why she and my grandmother and even my other relatives, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, can't be less judgemental! I feel like they all look down on me and hate me. I feel like my mom is just waiting for me to screw up something again. I know she thinks I'm going to end up pregnant again even though I told her this is NOT the case. IF I ever have another child, it will be planned out and not for YEARS and even then I doubt I will. My son is amazing, but I can hardly handle what I've already got. I'm not stupid. 

My boyfriend's family is a lot more caring and less judgemental. They can't watch our son because most live out of state and others work too, but they accept my son and are HAPPY he's alive and in the world. My mom yes loves him but EVERY time I'm around her I feel like all she does is judge my mistakes and ignore every effort I make to do right. I'm a GOOD mom. I'm not the best mom in the world. I make mistakes, but I love my child and I take good care of him. I can't help I can't do it ALL on my own and need help like when I'm at work. This is really more of a vent than anything. It's hard I don't have many friends and the ones I do don't have kids. 

How do you cope with impossible family members? 

[JMSarah]

I'm nearly 19, I have a 2 and a half year old son, I live with my boyfriend/son's father. We both work full time and I think we do really well with supporting ourselves! We've worked very hard to get where we are today, and we still work hard. It's a constant struggle and what happens is childcare is too expensive. We can't pay hundreds every week to have someone watch him so my family is burdened with this. Instead of trying to see it as a good thing like yay you get some with your grandchild, I get to hear how irresponsible I am and how I've messed up our family and added so much stress and such a burden.

I admit I'm not perfect. After my son was born I did act irresponsibly more than I like to admit. I did dump him on family a lot in that first year especially. I just didn't know what I was doing and I was in denial. I got some counseling and outside help and it really helped me a lot. I've taken responsibility for my life and for my son. I rush to my grandma's after work to pick my son up, I rarely ever ask any family to watch him when I'm not working even when I very badly would love some peace and time alone or with my boyfriend. I don't ask for that except on special occasions any more. I leave him with them as little as possible. I can't help that we have to work to live. 

I don't expect praise for changing and growing and trying to do right, but it would be nice for my family to not still act as if I've made the biggest mistake of my life here. I LOVE my son and I will NOT ever ever EVER think of him as a regret or mistake. He is a blessing and I find myself crying just to think of how wonderful he is and how that sour look on my mom's face is every single freaking time I see her! She's disappointed in me STILL. Why can't she just accept this? Yes, I was stupid and I should have been more responsible and had a child later in life, but it happened, and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing now. I work so hard and am overwhelmed much of the time and I don't understand why she and my grandmother and even my other relatives, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, can't be less judgemental! I feel like they all look down on me and hate me. I feel like my mom is just waiting for me to screw up something again. I know she thinks I'm going to end up pregnant again even though I told her this is NOT the case. IF I ever have another child, it will be planned out and not for YEARS and even then I doubt I will. My son is amazing, but I can hardly handle what I've already got. I'm not stupid. 

My boyfriend's family is a lot more caring and less judgemental. They can't watch our son because most live out of state and others work too, but they accept my son and are HAPPY he's alive and in the world. My mom yes loves him but EVERY time I'm around her I feel like all she does is judge my mistakes and ignore every effort I make to do right. I'm a GOOD mom. I'm not the best mom in the world. I make mistakes, but I love my child and I take good care of him. I can't help I can't do it ALL on my own and need help like when I'm at work. This is really more of a vent than anything. It's hard I don't have many friends and the ones I do don't have kids. 

How do you cope with impossible family members? 

[cheyfri]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I am 19 as well with an almost 8 month little boy and five months along with a little baby girl. I know how hard it can be. I stay home because we don't exactly believe in daycares because ALOT of them up here are miserable places and there are ALOT of accidents, however my fiancé can't work much because he has cerebral palsy so we don't exactly have it the easiest either. My family loves our son and is always willing to help while my fiancés mother and step father do not accept our kids very much at all and his father and step mother on the other hand do. It's hard when people think you are being "stupid" but know that as long as you do what's right for that little one and provide you are doing just great! .

[shiya_missing_miles]

It sounds like you should have a talk with your mom. Does she know you feel this way? I think if you can talk it out with her, you can both get to the bottom of the problems, I think that while she had some right to be disappointed, she also has every reason to be proud of you for stepping up and taking care of your little man, I know a number of teen moms who are still big party-ers, with kids who are three or four years old. They still haven't figured it out, and so the fact that you did, and are working to better yourself, your life, and your son's life is reason enough for your parents and family to be proud.