[NFL2011]

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aphrodite-n-taurus wrote:

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NFL2011 wrote:

I was in an A with the same man twice (with a looooong period of NC in between) over the course of 20 years.  The second time ended not too long ago and here I am at iVillage again.  I can't, for the life of me, remember my old screen name and don't have the email address anymore I used, but I was quite a regular around here.    

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Last month on the All Sides Board, you told me that back when you were in your A you contributed over 3,600 posts under your previous iVillage identity,  so you can't recall your old screen name anymore?

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NFL2011 wrote:

 So when you've got non-stop drama and need to bend over backwards to maintain the A, it's time to either hang it up or get a different AP.   

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Can you please show me which one of your 59 posts passes the advice for one get another AP?

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I get the feeling like I'm getting under your skin . . . again.  You seem to have something MORE you want to say, but are now forced into an attempt to place me in some sort of negative light to get some unspoken point across.  Knock yourself out I guess.

Getting back to Titchy.  Here she is . . . she feels sick, she can't breathe, she's terrified.

All this getting sick, can't breathe and terror . . . and for what? Her AP is most likely lying (and will continue to lie) about the all-too-convenient text message discovery and she's putting herself through ALL THIS for a concocted discovery by a person who plays head games because he cannot (and probably never will be able to) handle being in an affair.

Even if the text story is true (which I doubt because most people in an affair would have an opposite-sex name associated with the AP's number, ESPECIALLY if the notification comes up on their lock screen), there's too much other drama with the liklihood of no end in sight.  

[aphrodite-n-taurus]

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NFL2011 wrote: 

I get the feeling like I'm getting under your skin . . . again.  You seem to have something MORE you want to say, but are now forced into an attempt to place me in some sort of negative light to get some unspoken point across.  Knock yourself out I guess.

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Well if you insist....

YOUR VIEW of people in A's is very negative on the other affair-related iVillage boards, makes me question your intentions here. So going back to what i asked you earlier (which you conveniently ignored), why can't you remember your previous iVillage identity where you published 3,600 posts, whilst in your affair?

Think you might be a BS full of BS NFL.

[cmtasha]

Hi everyone,

Just a reminder that MAS is meant to be a safe and supportive community and is not a place for "tough love" or for calling other members out.  If you feel yourself getting heated over a particular post or thread, we encourage you to report it to us and then ignore it.  Continuing to reply only fuels the fire, disrupts the discussion and puts your own membership in jeopardy.  We would be happy to review anything you send our way!

You're also welcome to email us if you have any questions or comments - relationshipscm@mail.ivillage.com.

Thanks and we appreciate your cooperation!

[simplysoft40]

I hate to say this but I see both sides of this argument in my A. I am in an A with a MM for 9 months now. He is very narcistic. Go to Amazon.com and search for Narcistic Relationships and read some of the descriptions to see if he is that way. I couldn't understand it at first, why he would say the things he does and do the things he did. He still does them, but now I know to give him some leeway and to ignore the ones I don't like. Or fight back if I want. But I've learned to that I need to pick and choose my battles with him if I want to keep this a happy relationship.

My AP would try to start fights with me by saying the most ridiculous things. He has really low self esteem. I see it in the way he fights and the way he talks about himself. It's usually from their mother and how they were raised. Their mother is typically narcistic. He will send me depressing emails and sometimes I just want to write back and tell him to stop. But I see it for what it is - his depression and I try to deal with it the best way that I can. It's what he is going through now. Unhappy job and marriage.

So why am I in this tough relationship with him? Because I love him and I know that he genuinely loves me back. He also had a minor DDay when his W saw him typing an email to me. We don't text because that would be more obvious, but we use our work phones to send emails through private accounts, not work accounts. He doesn't have my name listed with my phone number, he doesn't save it. I saved his, but it's like it's saved as a client. So sometimes when he's had to erase his call log, he's had to email me for my phone number.

We couldn't see each other or even email each other for a few weeks. It was really tough. And she even called him during his commute to make sure he wasn't on the phone with me. We have seen each other only 3 times since October and haven't  had IC since October either. It sucks. But that is what it's like coming off of a DDay.

I say back off a bit and he'll come back to you. I know that when I don't email as much, he starts sending me emails asking if I am ok, he's worried about me, am I mad. And I just happily reassure him that everything is fine, he's tired and we're good.