[sunnydaysnow]

I would say he is attracted to you. Does this really mean he wants to take it further? That is really not a question I can answer. Your both married, have you asked yourself what you really want by engaging with this man? You say you know that if you knew his marriage was as close to the end as yours, you would go for it in a heartbeat. So are you looking for a full blown relationship? A way out of your marriage? Or just something to add excitement to your life. I ask these questions because affairs are tough as well as exciting. If your a thinking about ending your marriage, do that first and move on to find a single man that can offer you more. If your looking to add some fun and excitement, go for it, but try to guard your heart. Falling in love makes it hard, because then generally us women want so much more then a mm can give us.
Also if you want to move this along and enter an affair, push the envelope a little, make a suggestive invitation, your both adults, if he turns you down you have your answer, if he accepts you'be got a new lover!

[nevereasy]

Hi Tina,

welcome to MAS..

Sunny is right, him liking you is the easy part.. you both getting to the next step is the hard one..

Frankly, it really doesn't matter if he is happily married or not.. he's a guy (so am I) and he'll most likely be happy to have you as a fun distraction in his life, looking at all the hoops he has gone through to be in contact with you..it seems you are more than ready to have an A w/ this guy, so the real question is how to go about it..

As for the downside, if it indeed works and you guys start having an A, read up on all the misery and sorrow we go through around here daily and still stick to our A's!   It surely isn't for the faint of heart, and you need to be very careful about such a decision.. it'll affect many people close to you and him if you two end up moving forward..even if it is kept totally secret..

Having warned you.. ..

What I would do is just to send him a friendly e-mail, talking about how you've been running into each other lately.. and that you'd like to know if he wouldn't mind getting friendly emails and banter from you now and again..  if he has a thought about seeing you as more than in a professional role, his reply will make that clear.. hopefully.. if you don't hear from him at all, that's an answer in itself.. and by keeping things "friendly", you really haven't gone out on too much of a limb...

At this point, you really need to take a little bit of a risk, and see how that feels for you, especially if you are considering an A with him, which is an incredible amount of risk down the line.. might as well get your feet a bit wet now..

Most likely, he won't make the first move.. for reasons you outlined in your post.. but if you do, even in the guise of a possible friendship, he'll take the bait I am sure, that is, if he's interested.

Good luck and do keep us posted.. and again..welcome!

==

[bigbigsigh]

Thanks for the welcome messages!  As I was mulling over what you both said and looking at other stories from everyone and looking at the highs and lows like you said, I had a total, "Huh." moment.  I've had an A.  About 10 years ago.  We met at work, always attracted to each other, talked all the time and then one night at 4 a.m. at a conference we kissed passionately and then I got cold feet and he totally persued me.  I allowed it and engaged to an extent.  Secret emails, texting, lunches.  I walked away and was stalked for 4 years 'til I left the company.  I never, ever thought of it as an affair, I just thought of it as a crazy night that was a long time in the making.  What's up with people who have multiple A's?  I know for me I have a lot of anger in my 20+ year relationship with my H.  It's such an interesting dynamic and I can relate so well to what people are posting.