[CowgirlTrainwreck]

Relationship is fairly new - 4 or 5 months. He sleeps over at my house every night, and we spend a lot of time together. We have similar goals, challenging each other intellectually, and enjoy each other's company.<br><br>The problem: I have a very open attitude about sex, used to experiment a lot, have had male and female experiences, and used to party and occasionally hook up with people when I was in college. He has only had sex with girlfriends. This wouldn't be a problem at all except that he is EXTREMELY jealous and hurtful when he brings up my sexual history. I refuse to answer questions about it now because he uses the information only as ammo. He will point out strangers and say things like, "Oh did you f*@% him?" Or will ask if I've "Sucked off his dick" if I mention any male friend. He will hurl judgemental, sharp questions about my history until I'm in tears.<br><br>I'm not ashamed of my history. I learned a lot about myself, am STD free, and enjoyed most of it. I have been 100% faithful to my boyfriend, and I don't communications with exes or flirt with old hookups. He says he doesn't know how to stop himself from being jealous.<br><br>What do I do? Everything else but this is fine in our relationship.

[CowgirlTrainwreck]

Relationship is fairly new - 4 or 5 months. He sleeps over at my house every night, and we spend a lot of time together. We have similar goals, challenging each other intellectually, and enjoy each other's company.<br><br>The problem: I have a very open attitude about sex, used to experiment a lot, have had male and female experiences, and used to party and occasionally hook up with people when I was in college. He has only had sex with girlfriends. This wouldn't be a problem at all except that he is EXTREMELY jealous and hurtful when he brings up my sexual history. I refuse to answer questions about it now because he uses the information only as ammo. He will point out strangers and say things like, "Oh did you f*@% him?" Or will ask if I've "Sucked off his dick" if I mention any male friend. He will hurl judgemental, sharp questions about my history until I'm in tears.<br><br>I'm not ashamed of my history. I learned a lot about myself, am STD free, and enjoyed most of it. I have been 100% faithful to my boyfriend, and I don't communications with exes or flirt with old hookups. He says he doesn't know how to stop himself from being jealous.<br><br>What do I do? Everything else but this is fine in our relationship.

[true.blue.strine]

Goodness, I never cease to be surprised at the behaviours people tolerate in their partners.    I tell you, if my man spoke to me like that, I'd end the relationship immediately.     

He may be fine in all other aspects, but in this aspect he is clearly a bully and determined to make you feel as low as he possibly can.     It would be a dealbreaker for me.

[CowgirlTrainwreck]

I'm starting to feel like it can be a dealbreaker for me too. *sigh*

[2nd_life]

Welcome to the boar, Cowgirltrainwreck ~

I totally agree with Blue.  He's showing himself to be completely and uncaring and hurtful to your feelings, disrespectful to your choices and your honesty.  Assuming you've told him how you feel about his comments and behavior and have asked him to stop, he's also disrespecting and disregarding your wants, needs and wishes.  Why would you want someone like that in your life?  These are some of the very basic standards that he's not passing.  Regardless of how good he might be in other ways, these are issues that are "must haves" for any healthy, respectful relationship.

It's been my experience over the decade I've been on this board that the people who ask about your sexual history are the very people you should not tell it to.  I suspect he asked (not that you were secretive, I understand you're open and honest about yoiur past).

[CowgirlTrainwreck]

Thanks 2nd_life. He did indeed ask about it. I've never really asked him any questions about his. In my past relationships, the people who were the most jealous were the ones who were being shady themselves, so I was afraid he was hiding things. I snooped in his phone a month ago to see if he was still talking to any exes. He wasn't, and I found nothing suspicious. I think that was intrusive and wrong of me to look, and I told him about it and have apologized. I feel like it's just emotional immaturity and insecurity on his part.