Hi Winter, I haven't been well at all. I ended up in an inpatient mental facility for a bit. I almost took my life. Long story...I will save you the details on how I attempted. But God gave me a second chance that is for sure. That was around Jan. 16 or so.
Since then I have a good outpatient psychiatrist that I'm seeing. (Frustratedwiththree, I never did get to do the neurofeedback, insurance wouldn't cover it, and it was out of my reach financially.)
He's diagnosed me with panic disorder, and OCD. The OCD is not a good OCD. I don't do things like obsessively wash my hands or clean my house. What I do is focus on the one negative thing in my life until it makes me crazy. I focus on the one negative thing so much it drives me truly insane.
So right now I've been prescribed 4 meds. Ambien, clonopin, xanax, and zoloft. Yes I do take all four daily at spaced intervals. You would think I'd be a zombie with all that but I'm still very nervous, dizzy, and have panic attacks several times daily even on that.
Good news is, I'm learning from this experience. I'm very involved in the church, been busy reading bible daily, go to church twice a week, and joined a gym and jog on that treadmill to help my with my emotions and helps me rest better. I even still have my job!!! That is only by the grace of God my 16 year career wasn't taken. My kids are doing well, I've been taking them to the park, feeding the ducks bread, going to the lake, doing things with them and not taking one minute for granted.
sweets35
