[sweets35]

You are too hard on yourself. I recently found out my 14 year old daughter had 9 shots of cherry vodka. The other kids put her in the shower, tried to sober her up, but then put her in a bed while semi-conscous. She could have died.
Teenagers experiment and have problems at this stage really no matter the situation.

I really do think you are overly worried about things in your life. I think you are always thinking the worst.

Maybe some anxiety pills would help you deal with anything that comes. You can ignore some of what's going on around you.

You want life to be perfect. There is no perfect life. You can't make decisions because of the severe depression and anxiety that is overwhelming you. I don't think you should make any decisions at this time until the frame of mind is right.

Look up Eckhardt Tolle or Robert Smith on the net. Both are good. They are life coaches. Their views on life and how to deal with it are amazing.

[winter2007]

ok..so I googled this http://www.fastereft.com/

it is interesting and my therapist has also mentioned the technique, but mainly to let me get to the next step.

Here they talk about how to cope with negative feelings. Yes, I guess I will have to find peace if I cannot do this..however it does not resolve the issues of someone staying in abusive marriage and repurcussions on that decision on children.

But again, if someone like me cannot go to next step, perhaps this is a way to find peace to sort of get through it..until something worse happens..or hope it just fades away at times go by...Like for instance, I know my FIL was a controlling abusive person, but now MIL/FIL are almost 80 and I have seen them for last 10 years..and they have a comfortable relationship and there for each other in old days...But I can see the effect of that in their son..who grew to be controlling too.

So yes, I could change my way of thinking as it is what it is for now..and stop torturing myself.

Sorry..got cut of before further posting - I am glad your daughter was ok..the teen stuff is scary. Yes, my D maybe would have been same had or had I not left before..yes..she would have had to deal with him one way or other..so my jumping when she jumps - maybe is overreaction on my part. I dont know..I know the ideal situation would have been - me being strong enough to leave a bad/abusive marriage and showing her a positive role model. Yes, she would have had her teen stuff..but at least..she would have known one stable home..and not be on egg shells like me and unable to make change.

[sweets35]

Don't you see you are obsessing over it though?  Your mind goes in a loop.  That's the part I have a problem with too.  I obsess about the negative until I almost took my life.

[winter2007]

ok..i realize i am obsessing over it. But how to let go and make peace with it (one way or other). It is like my head knows what should be done..but my heart can't do it. I feel trapped one way or other. No part gives me peace..so maybe I got to take the path that is doable at present. And make the best of it. Is that what you are saying?