[cmmelissa]

If the dad is the stay-at-home parent, than the Census Bureau considers it to be child-care, versus if it was the mom at home:

“It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it.”

It’s been seven years, but I’ve never forgotten those words. My neighbor across the street was heading out for work, tall, well-dressed and ready. Her child, a few years older than mine, had just wailed, “But I don’t want Daddy to baby-sit!” She squashed that plaint like a bug, and five minutes later (I was pushing my son on the swing in their front yard) I saw her car head down the driveway.

It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it. Who wouldn’t agree with that? The U.S. Census Bureau, apparently. When both parents are present in the household, the Census Bureau assumes for the purposes of its “Who’s Minding the Kids?” report, that the mother is the “designated parent.” And when the designated parent is working or at school, the bureau would like to know who’s providing child care.

If the answer is Daddy, as it was 26 percent of the time when these numbers were last released, in 2005, and 32 percent of the time in 2010, the Census Bureau calls that “care.” But if Mom is caring for a child while Dad’s at work, that’s not a “child care arrangement,” but something else. Parenting, presumably.

You can read the rest of the NY Times article at: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/08/the-census-bureau-counts-fathers-as-child-care/

Do you think that the gender norm is ever going to change that mom is the designated parent?  Is this fair to men who are being considered "just the babysitter"? 

[cmmelissa]

If the dad is the stay-at-home parent, than the Census Bureau considers it to be child-care, versus if it was the mom at home:

“It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it.”

It’s been seven years, but I’ve never forgotten those words. My neighbor across the street was heading out for work, tall, well-dressed and ready. Her child, a few years older than mine, had just wailed, “But I don’t want Daddy to baby-sit!” She squashed that plaint like a bug, and five minutes later (I was pushing my son on the swing in their front yard) I saw her car head down the driveway.

It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it. Who wouldn’t agree with that? The U.S. Census Bureau, apparently. When both parents are present in the household, the Census Bureau assumes for the purposes of its “Who’s Minding the Kids?” report, that the mother is the “designated parent.” And when the designated parent is working or at school, the bureau would like to know who’s providing child care.

If the answer is Daddy, as it was 26 percent of the time when these numbers were last released, in 2005, and 32 percent of the time in 2010, the Census Bureau calls that “care.” But if Mom is caring for a child while Dad’s at work, that’s not a “child care arrangement,” but something else. Parenting, presumably.

You can read the rest of the NY Times article at: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/08/the-census-bureau-counts-fathers-as-child-care/

Do you think that the gender norm is ever going to change that mom is the designated parent?  Is this fair to men who are being considered "just the babysitter"? 

[emptynester2009]

  I think that it is stupid.  One line that jumped out at me was

  "A mother, said Ms. Laughlin, is “not only caring for the child only while Dad works. She’s probably caring for the child 24 hours and so Dad is able to go to work regardless."

 I was a SAHM for 12.5 years.  The only time I cared for our children 24 hours a day was when DH was gone 24 hours a day.

  When I was the only parent in the home I provided the care.  When he was the only parent in the home he provided the care.  When we were both in the home we both provided the care.

"Do you think that the gender norm is ever going to change that mom is the designated parent?"

I find it hard to believe that there still is a designated parent.

  "Is this fair to men who are being considered "just the babysitter"? "

I think it is an insult. 

[sewchris703]

I'll just park my ditto here.

And to add, back in the dawn of the women's movement (the late 50s, early 60s), I don't remember mom calling it babysitting when she left us with dad.  It was "Dad's watching us now" instead of mom.  We had 2 parents, not one parent and a designated hitter.  The babysitter lived down the street not in the next bedroom.

Chris

[chestnuthooligan]

I'm pretty sure my husband is going to object to me sleeping with the baby sitter. If he ever indicated that his parenting responsibilities were baby sitting, I wouldn't be sleeping with him either.

We have children together and we are both parents. We both have strengths and weaknesses as parents, but we've reached a pretty good balance. It's even better now that we don't need outside child care with older children.

[geschichtsgal]

I really don't understand why the Census Bureau needs to have a "designated parent" in a two-parent household.