[kitty_kat19]

Hello...  I'm new to this board but hope that I can get some adivce/info/support!

I was with my ex fiance for about 2 years or so.  When we broke up, I met a new guy.  I had gotten tested for STDs while I was with my ex, but didn't get a blood test.  I had been tested before and tested negative for HIV, hepatitis, and the other bacterial STDs.... 

Anyway, I started seeing the new guy and we became sexually active.  I didn't have any symptoms of anything.  He told me he had been tested for STDs but I didn't ask him which ones.  He said HIV/AIDS, chlamidia, ghonnorea, etc.  So, I had no real concerns...  We started our relationship in about October. 

Well, I decided to go to the gynocologist for a full STD test since it had been a while and I knew the last time I was tested I didn't have a blood test so I wanted the HIV test.  I had some irritation down there too, which I wanted her to look at.  Just little cuts.  Like 1/8 inch little slices.  I had two of them.  The gynocologist said it may be a weird kind of yeast infection or herpes.  I thought, no way it's herpes, because I had those slices before and my herpes test was negative (that was about 5 years ago or so). 

I got the test results and I tested positive for herpes.  They put me on acyclovir to take daily.  The thing is, I've never had a herpes outbreak with sores or blisters...  I never thought I had it!  My ex fiance does have oral herpes and I'm wondering if I got it from him.... He had oral sex with me once and got a cold sore on his lip shortly after.  But, I had no symptoms while with him.  Then, last month I had the little cut but I also had been having lots of sex with my new guy so I don't know if it was just irritation.  It went away on its own.  I had not yet started the acyclovir.  But, I did start feeling some lower abdominal pain and cramping. I was also put on an antibiotic for a bacterial infection (just the normal kind, not an STD type).  So, maybe that was causing that feeling??  I"m not sure what to do.  I called my ex fiance and told him and also my ex boyfriend since I'm not sure when I got this.  I have to tell the new guy too but he's currently in boot camp for the navy.  I'm not going to send him a letter and tell him that!  The next time I'll see him is in 5 weeks when he graduates.  Gosh, I'm scared for that conversation!  He sent me a letter asking him to marry him...  I hope he isn't scared away or mad.  It could have been from him, I guess, but I know he had lots of medical tests done for the navy and wouldn't they test for that?  I don't know...  Please help.  I feel ashamed...  I'm sad... 

[kitty_kat19]

Hello...  I'm new to this board but hope that I can get some adivce/info/support!

I was with my ex fiance for about 2 years or so.  When we broke up, I met a new guy.  I had gotten tested for STDs while I was with my ex, but didn't get a blood test.  I had been tested before and tested negative for HIV, hepatitis, and the other bacterial STDs.... 

Anyway, I started seeing the new guy and we became sexually active.  I didn't have any symptoms of anything.  He told me he had been tested for STDs but I didn't ask him which ones.  He said HIV/AIDS, chlamidia, ghonnorea, etc.  So, I had no real concerns...  We started our relationship in about October. 

Well, I decided to go to the gynocologist for a full STD test since it had been a while and I knew the last time I was tested I didn't have a blood test so I wanted the HIV test.  I had some irritation down there too, which I wanted her to look at.  Just little cuts.  Like 1/8 inch little slices.  I had two of them.  The gynocologist said it may be a weird kind of yeast infection or herpes.  I thought, no way it's herpes, because I had those slices before and my herpes test was negative (that was about 5 years ago or so). 

I got the test results and I tested positive for herpes.  They put me on acyclovir to take daily.  The thing is, I've never had a herpes outbreak with sores or blisters...  I never thought I had it!  My ex fiance does have oral herpes and I'm wondering if I got it from him.... He had oral sex with me once and got a cold sore on his lip shortly after.  But, I had no symptoms while with him.  Then, last month I had the little cut but I also had been having lots of sex with my new guy so I don't know if it was just irritation.  It went away on its own.  I had not yet started the acyclovir.  But, I did start feeling some lower abdominal pain and cramping. I was also put on an antibiotic for a bacterial infection (just the normal kind, not an STD type).  So, maybe that was causing that feeling??  I"m not sure what to do.  I called my ex fiance and told him and also my ex boyfriend since I'm not sure when I got this.  I have to tell the new guy too but he's currently in boot camp for the navy.  I'm not going to send him a letter and tell him that!  The next time I'll see him is in 5 weeks when he graduates.  Gosh, I'm scared for that conversation!  He sent me a letter asking him to marry him...  I hope he isn't scared away or mad.  It could have been from him, I guess, but I know he had lots of medical tests done for the navy and wouldn't they test for that?  I don't know...  Please help.  I feel ashamed...  I'm sad... 

[nenuphar_19]

Hi Kitty_Kat, and welcome to the board.

Not only is it possible to carry the herpes virus without having an outbreak, it probably isn't that uncommon this occurs. It is also very likely that it was your former partner who infected you, if he had cold sores and gave you oral sex mere days before having a sore on his mouth. Herpes is contagious before outbreaks as well as during, and that is part of the reason that it is spread so frequently.

I'm really not sure about the cramping you described, or what it could have been caused by. If you were put on anti-biotics for another infection, then it sounds as though you've been dealing with a variety of gynecological symptoms. Did you describe that to your doctor?

Rest assured, it is entirely normal that you have never had an obvious outbreak of herpes, and have not shown the usual symptoms. The information at the following link will tell  you more about that.

Genital Herpes - Topic Overview

You've been very brave and done the right thing in telling your former partners. I'm sure it was not easy. At the same time, it is possible you contacted it from either one of them, or even from your current boyfriend. If you read the link I gave you, you'll find that: "Most people never have symptoms, or the symptoms are so mild that people do not know that they are infected. But in some people, the disease causes occasional outbreaks of itchy and painful sores in the genital area."

I have no idea if the American navy systematically tests their people for sexually transmitted diseases. That conversation with your new boyfriend is not going to be easy, but it will be all right; you'll do it and no matter what happens afterwards between the two of you, you will be able to hold your head up with pride for being honest with him. You have done nothing wrong, and have nothing to be ashamed of. This is a virus, unthinking, mindless, that infects people without them knowing it. People carry it and don't know they have it, and do not willingly pass it on to others. It happens. You've already done the correct thing in alerting your former partners.

From the sounds of it, you are generally in good health, and this is obviously working in your favour.

Take care, and be gentle to yourself. You deserve it. Let us know how things turn out for you.

---

[moonlightnroses]

Hi kitty_kat19,

I'm glad you came here looking for advice, info and support.  This is a good place to come.

I work in a hospital and deal with STD's daily.  Yes, you can be infected with the Herpes virus and not have symptoms.  You did the right thing in telling your two partners about this so that they can take measures to get treatment themselves if they need it.

Oral Herpes (HSV 1) can be transmitted to the genitals through oral sex.  This virus is less likely to cause outbreaks in individuals who contract it.

The abdominal pain and cramping may be totally unrelated to the Herpes incident so have you talked to a doctor about that problem?  I know you've had a lot on your mind, but I wouldn't ignore abdominal pain and cramping.  It may have been a side effect of the antibiotics but you need to find out from an MD.

I always advise people who question their test results to ask to have the test repeated just as a precaution.  Two positive tests should confirm that you do indeed have the virus and the acyclovir is the proper treatment.

I found a link on WebMD that I thought may have more information for you:

http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-diagnosis

They go into a lot of detail and some of it may be a little confusing.  If you have questions, please post them here or 'Private Message' me and I will do my best to answer them.

I understand that this is a very stressful time for you but try to keep yourself as calm as you can.  Stress is not good for a viral infection.  I'm afraid I don't know what the US military tests for in new recruits but I would assume they do a pretty thorough STD panel.  A face-to-face conversation IMO is the best way to approach this situation with your new BF.  If he loves you enough to ask you to marry him, then I have every hope he cares about you enough to deal with this situation.

Please take good care of yourself - staying healthy is important for you.  Have strength and have that conversation with this man.  My best to you on that outcome, too.

Moon

[kitty_kat19]

Thanks for that information.  I never really thought about how I was tested...  I think I would like to know which kind I have because then I'll know if it was my ex's oral cold sores...  And, maybe I'll get a second blood test done to see if it also comes up negative.  I have been nothing but confused because I really didn't have any symptoms.  Not even the symptoms like abnormal discharge or burning with urination, which it says can happen. 

Yes, I suppose he will be OK when I tell him.  I just hate that he's going to be looking forward to seeing me and I'll have to give him this bad news...  I know it could have been him who gave it to me too.  I mean, who knows?  If he wasn't tested for that, maybe he had it and didn't know.  Just like me!  I guess they really need to educate people about the fact that you may have this and not know and that 1 in 5 people has it and that you can get it from them if they don't have symptoms and you use protection (condoms).  Gosh, I didn't realize all that...  And I thought I knew about STDs.

[nenuphar_19]

I think you should get retested as well.

Since you now know more about how it can be transmitted, let your ex-boyfriend, who gets cold sores, know that he needs to be extremely carefully when he is giving oral sex, or even kissing someone, for that matter.

Best of luck, and please let us know how you are doing, and how that conversation with your boyfriend turns out.