[legleagle]

If you know where it is please send it to my house. I need to get on. 

Here is the simple version of stuff:

1. SD moves in with us to get away from horribly verbally emotionally abusive bio mom. Yay, right? WRONG.

2, Reported abuse to social workers - basically, she is bio  mom so they could not give a fart. 

3. Two out of three SD have SEVERE emotional problems. Husband will not deal. Period. He simply will not. They all come to me for help. I love them and I want to help, but I am now drowning. I cannot find any time for myself, and I hate my life. 

4. All of his girls are disrespectful from time to time and are just allowed to do it. He will not deal with that either because his little baby girls are ANGELS! ANGELS, I tell you! Halos and everything! If my son spoke to me like that he would get a major consequence from ME.

5. I have had it up to my freakin eyeballs with being pulled in to get things done with the SDs, then pushed away and told it's none of my business. Or how about when I tutor bio mom's kids in math and bring their grades up very significantly, only to have her blame me when one of them doesn''t do her homework one day. Apparently that is my fault. 

What's next in this calvalcade of fun? Why a court battle, of course. What would my forties be without another one of those? SD who is living with us is 14 and has a lot of freedom to choose her situation, but one still has to ask a judge and when that happens, bio mom will flip. Because that's HER child support money gone out the door.

I wil talk a Greyhound of no return, at this point. I know how terrible this sounds, but right now I could just walk away and never look back. I cried all day. I am trying to find a job, meanwhile I have my husband's daughters all day, every day. Even the 20 year old texts me at least 20 times per day about her emotional problems. He also lined me up to give her academic advice. She is 20! Why is this my job? Why? I never asked for it, I know that much for sure. He makes me so respoonsible for them, then when I ask him why they are allowed to talk trash in our home, he rolls his eyes at me. 

OK I am cutting myself off from complaining now because I could fill pages.

[legleagle]

If you know where it is please send it to my house. I need to get on. 

Here is the simple version of stuff:

1. SD moves in with us to get away from horribly verbally emotionally abusive bio mom. Yay, right? WRONG.

2, Reported abuse to social workers - basically, she is bio  mom so they could not give a fart. 

3. Two out of three SD have SEVERE emotional problems. Husband will not deal. Period. He simply will not. They all come to me for help. I love them and I want to help, but I am now drowning. I cannot find any time for myself, and I hate my life. 

4. All of his girls are disrespectful from time to time and are just allowed to do it. He will not deal with that either because his little baby girls are ANGELS! ANGELS, I tell you! Halos and everything! If my son spoke to me like that he would get a major consequence from ME.

5. I have had it up to my freakin eyeballs with being pulled in to get things done with the SDs, then pushed away and told it's none of my business. Or how about when I tutor bio mom's kids in math and bring their grades up very significantly, only to have her blame me when one of them doesn''t do her homework one day. Apparently that is my fault. 

What's next in this calvalcade of fun? Why a court battle, of course. What would my forties be without another one of those? SD who is living with us is 14 and has a lot of freedom to choose her situation, but one still has to ask a judge and when that happens, bio mom will flip. Because that's HER child support money gone out the door.

I wil talk a Greyhound of no return, at this point. I know how terrible this sounds, but right now I could just walk away and never look back. I cried all day. I am trying to find a job, meanwhile I have my husband's daughters all day, every day. Even the 20 year old texts me at least 20 times per day about her emotional problems. He also lined me up to give her academic advice. She is 20! Why is this my job? Why? I never asked for it, I know that much for sure. He makes me so respoonsible for them, then when I ask him why they are allowed to talk trash in our home, he rolls his eyes at me. 

OK I am cutting myself off from complaining now because I could fill pages.

[pepperjack7]

Hi,

I'll save ya a seat!! I have felt like this Sooo many times! One of the things you need to do, is sit down with your dh and explain How overloaded you are. Also, DO clarify that you are not the stepmom Only when it works for him and his kids. If you are good enough to Get 20 calls a day from them (inappropriate..they need to call their Birth parent..their Dad..then maybe he will feel what You feel!), then you are good enough to put in your 2 cents worth, when it comes to their Princess behaviour! If he won't listen, and deflects and demeans by saying you are selfish,or Anything similar, then you need to make a counseling appointment. Imho, the Entire family could use it! Tell him you are making it, and ask when would be a good time for him. If he balks, then you might want to reconsider. If this goes on at this rate, they will take ALL you have to give..and leave you empty. You have Your child to think of! This happened to me, 2011 was he**..but last December, I said "enough", as I had Nothing left for MY kids. Very wrong. There Has to be a balance...and that balance needs to work for YOU too!
sincerely,
Pepper

[pepperjack7]

p.s.//colleges and schools have Paid advisors to give academic advice....or he can help her. It seems like he is happily passing His responsibility to You..not right!

[legleagle]

I will be looking into another tutor for SD and a consellor for gornw up SD. The younger SD took her math test yesterday and got 10/30. No kidding - she doesn't study. My husband had set me up on that one, telling me that if SD gets a good grade that will mean that I have proven I am a good tutor. I am so discouraged by the whole thing. I keep saying it is HER that is being evaluated, not ME. Might as well scream at the wind.

[legleagle]

Hi Pepper - thanks for your answer.

Honest to God I have never been so depressed in my entire life. I have tried telling H how overloaded I am and how stressed out. He rolls his eyes and tells me he can't take any more problems. I tell him fine, take your daughters on yourself - Mary Poppins has officially quit. He just ignores everything and they just come to me anyway. They set you up to love these kids, then when the chips are down you find out what you're really worth as they tell you to mind your business or ignore how YOU feel and think only of them and what you are no longer giving.

SD is being abused by Bio Mom. Husband meets with Social worker yesterday - does he tell her that Bio Mom screamed at SD not to "lie about her" to her counsellor? Nope. Slipped his mind. Just like he forgot that SD is suicidal when he spoke with the mental health team. And he forgot that she missed two days of school last week because she was too depressed to get out of bed. No - not important. And then there is the fact that she is way behind in her school work. Her problems, according to her father, are a 3/10. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. It's like screaming in a dream but no one can hear you.