[cmkristy]

Hi everyone,

I cam by an interesting article today about working moms that "mooch" child care from their friends. The article got me thinking.

Parental Quandry: The Mooching Working Mother- http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/03/parental-quandary-the-mooching-working-mother/

Do you find that your friends and/or family ask you to watch their children or do other things for them because you work at home?  If so, how do set boundaries so that you are still able to do your work?

What about when you need someone to look after your children while you either work or run errands/go to appointments? Do you have specific arrangements in place or do you do some creative management when things pop up?

[cmkristy]

Hi everyone,

I cam by an interesting article today about working moms that "mooch" child care from their friends. The article got me thinking.

Parental Quandry: The Mooching Working Mother- http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/03/parental-quandary-the-mooching-working-mother/

Do you find that your friends and/or family ask you to watch their children or do other things for them because you work at home?  If so, how do set boundaries so that you are still able to do your work?

What about when you need someone to look after your children while you either work or run errands/go to appointments? Do you have specific arrangements in place or do you do some creative management when things pop up?

[marhannahs1]

What a great question!!

I have been on both sides of this coin.  When I was a kid, my mom always worked full-time outside the home.  She was Director of Nutrition Services at a local hospital.  She had 30 or 40 employees and a lot of responsibility.  I feel like I grew up in the hospital cafeteria waiting for my mom to finish working, but during the summer or on holidays I spent a lot of time at my friend's house whose mom didn't work.  They were nice about it, but my little brother and I definitely mooched some meals - no doubt!  I thanked God for them then and now because my mom wasn't home for the 45 to 50 hours she worked each week.  (It's funny because that same girl I played with back then is now Godmother to all four of my babies which is pretty cool.)

Working at home, I have had a chance to "pay it forward" and don't mind helping out with neighbor kids although it can be stressful since my house already feels "full" with just my 4 children here (and I can't work at all when they have company).  I have only had to cut it out with one boy, the oldest of 4 whose mom was very quick to leave him here for various reasons.  My rule was that he not leave without telling me since I was "in charge" until his mom got back, but he disappeared on me more than once to visit other neighborhood kids and I put my foot down.  I called her and said that I had no problem watching him for free, but I couldn't really watch him because he kept leaving my house and yard without permission before she got back.  I asked her not to leave him here since he didn't stay put or tell me where he was going, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to him on my watch.  She agreed, and I have to say we don't miss him, KWIM?

Personally I don't mooch child care because I don't want to inconvience anyone or make my kids feel like they are somewhere they aren't wanted.  I finally had to quit my job to watch my kiddos myself because I can't afford day care, but it is a win-win for us as long as we can swing it.  I carpool with other parents so none of us is providing an unfair amount of transportation.  If my kid goes to a playdate, we have the next one here.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.  If you consistently need someone to watch your child, I think the least you could do is pay them for their trouble - either with money or by watching their kids for the same number of hours.